“Oh just move to the left, the background’s not right.
I’ll just move over there, there’s a little more light.
A snap in this pose, in that one as well,
The hair isn’t right, I’ll just apply some gel.”
And in these desperate attempts to get that perfect shot,
I was with a live person, I totally forgot.
I could have made memories, I got clicked instead,
I have a digital copy, but nothing in my head.
Try as I may, recollect I cannot,
Like there’s plenty of water, and yet there’s this draught.
I might lose these pictures, and then where I’d be?
All my memories digitised, I’d have nothing to see.
Instead of posing for a smile, I wish I’d shared one,
And a hug and a kiss and a walk in the sun.
We see selfies with pouts, and groupies too,
We have thousands of pictures yet still have no clue.
As to what we’d rather have, actual memories or none?
Shouldn’t we rather take that walk and immortalize our sun?
Pokemons, Fidget Spinners and Amnesia
As I scrolled down my Facebook feed out of sheer habit and occasional boredom, a turquoise blue image with some praise was posted by one of the college friends. Curiosity, as always is the case, got the better of me and I googled the name of the app immediately. The concept was not bad though it had a lot of potential for cyber-bullying and half the world would pronounce it incorrectly), I had thought then. Fast forward the next day and my feed was filled with such posts, mostly secret crushes and praises that seemed to satiate the Ego/pride of the person receiving said messages! For two and a half days, Facebook was just people asking for feedback on the app by sharing their usernames, people posting all things nice they received in feedback, some brave one’s going out of their way to even post criticisms! FOMO had already gotten the better of me. Anyway, I have realised that to be part of any conversation these days, you have to do what people are doing, watch what people are watching, post what people are posting and so on! Herd mentality, yes, I know! Stupid, I know that too! But somewhat necessary! So I did the same. Two days later and I had already uninstalled the app. Fast-forward to New Year’s Eve when I was reminiscing about all things 2017, I was struggling to recollect the name of the app that everyone had suddenly adopted and as quickly, abandoned. Sarahah. Or was it Sararah? Sarahahahah? I just couldn’t put my finger on the correct spelling. Even now I can’t.
It was mid 2016 I think. And childhood returned with a vengeance! With a flavour of technological advancement of course! Mind you, I’m on the wrong side of the twenties. And so were many who were around me. And yet, catching zubat’s around trees or squirtle near the lake seemed like the only purpose in an otherwise purposeless life. Artificial reality had truly taken over the mundane realities surrounding me and looking stupid trying to point your smart-phone at nothing seemed, well, normal. People were travelling all over the small city of Kozhikode to find a Pokemon Gym and suddenly, things like health benefits of walking seemed like the implausible outcome of a game that well, combined the real world with the fictitious utopia that you sometimes wished existed. Unlike Sarahah (Or Sararah, or whatever is the correct spelling!!), this however, wasn’t abandoned so quickly. There are still players out there, fanboys who immerse themselves in this world. Honestly, I don’t blame them. However, in a few days, the app was no longer in my phone, and though I did go back to the cartoon a few times post that, (most recently in June 2017), I never truly felt the urge to download the app again. Nor did it occupy space in my head. Like almost everyone around me.
Fans have been overhead for ages now! 135 years to be exact. And suddenly, one fine year, the miniaturised version in the form of a toy between our thumb and index finger would be selling like crazy all over the world – the world surely had gone crazy!! Surely, the markets didn’t have a gaping hole that this ‘new innovation’ would fill! But it did, and how! At some point in the first half of the year, 19 out of the top 20 selling toys sold online was a spinner of some kind. Unlike the other fads, I didn’t fall for this one. Nor did FOMO strike. But curiosity does always get the better of me. On multiple occasions, I managed to sneak in a spin or two after striking a deal with a kid in the vicinity! And then, on failing to understand the craze, would wonder what the fuss is all about. Anyway, last time I checked, the craze was gone and I wouldn’t be surprised if the toy is barely available in the market this time next year. And in some time, we would barely be able to recall.
Talking of recollection, does anyone even remember the absolute trash that we used to post on Facebook? Or the multitude of applications and games that used to eat our time for lunch, dinner and breakfast. “Who will you marry”, “By what age will you die”, “what does your sunsign say about you” etc. The list is 10 years long! And I hardly remember something that was such an important part of our lives back then. Gives us perspective, doesn’t it? Short term memory is an important trait in our times and I can’t even seem to remember when it started! Surprising! Fads take over us and years, months and sometimes even days down the line, we can’t seem to put a finger on what and why and how (Sorry Sarahahah!). Only when in the future Meme’s come out do we realise how crazy we were! Come to think of it, when did Meme’s grip us? Images, Gifs. Videos. Hard to imagine the internet without it now! I’m sure the language of the internet is here to stay. But who knows, We might soon forget.
I Am Not Your Hero
Unlike what I use to sing for you the song from the movie Desi Boyzz titled “Mein Tera Hero”, my perception has changed now with time. I knew when we started dating that I was an imperfect, but then I had the false notion that you have accepted me with the imperfection,which was an inseparable part of me. But with time your actions and silence have ripped my soul apart into pieces.
I have had enough of your crap… I have taken responsibility of a lot of wrong doings in which, quite frankly, I had no role to play. But then it’s enough now. Let me just say it to you “I am not your hero”.. Yes you heard it right. I repeat “I am not your hero”. Staying with you I have realised that I can’t be good to each and every person in the world. There are people and places where I have to show the dark side of mine. It can be a random stranger or it can be someone I use to love (you).
So, to you all reading this I must tell you what I have learnt from life – There are moments when you have to be harsh on people, that doesn’t make you a villain, but it shapes you as a man. Likewise, in a relationship too you go through a lot of emotional ups and downs. These things are meant to teach you emotional management. Unless you have gone through a breakup you don’t become fit in this survival of the fittest world.
Ya it’s true that “Wo aashiq hi kya jo ishq mein barbaad na howe”. But for a moment think about it why to say you have fallen in love. Why not say you have risen in love. This could add a different flavor to your life. Be a hero in your own eyes. No matter what happens you should not fail being a HERO of your own life.
My to be Girlfriend
Yes it’s time for me to start looking for someone. So, my to be sweetheart be ready coz I have started to look for you. I am finally done with the girl who preferred money over love. Yes it took me quite a bit of time to make up my mind for someone else. 3 years to forget the one whom you consider the love of your life is a healthy amount of time. But then yes the good part for you my to be girlfriend is I have taken the first step towards you. I don’t know what you might be doing right now, where you might be or perhaps even if you would be considering dating an average guy like me in future. But yes my to be love, I’m waiting to encounter the breeze of fresh air which carries your love all the way to Kolkata.
I have a lot in my to do list in store for you. To begin with, firstly the good morning msgs/callls…. video calls when my extra wala love can’t just keep me satisfied with texts or voice. I have already started saving my data balance Airtel provides me in my postpaid plan to have a lot of video calls with you.
Next would be asking you what you’re wearing to office and suggest what should I wear. I presume, you must be having a better dressing sense then me. Yes my to be girlfriend I would no longer ask my roommate what should I wear to office. Once we are done with getting ready according to what we consider best for the day for each other, exchanging pics would be final thing to do before leaving for office.
Next in my to do list would be our talks audio or audio plus video talks in Uber/Ola which we take to our respective offices. Obviously this would repeat in our lunch break n evening tea break session. It would be awesome if you’re gonna be from Kolkata and who knows you might be having your office near around mine. We could meet and have lunch together in my office occasionally when circumstances permit. I know em going way beyond normal limits but who knows this might be possible.
Next would be our life after office. Like I said previously if you’re from the city of joy we could have regular meetings whenever possible. If not,multimedia will have to shorten the dooriyan between us. Next, after going to our respective dwellings we would talk until we are ready for sleep and continue the same stuff the next day.
I don’t know if em expecting too much from you my to be girlfriend but one thing is for sure, I would fill your life with all the love and happiness you so richly deserve. I hope we are lucky enough that we develop the right chemistry between us which makes a balanced equation of relationship.
I hope you do exist. I hope you’re also waiting for me in the same way like me. Come soon yaar those empty spaces in my fingers are ready to be filled with yours. Come…hold my hands and take the jouney to motherhood with me.
P.S: One request my to be girlfriend, after you come to my life plz don’t leave me. It took me 3 years to get over with my exe. I won’t be able to handle another breakup.
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